I had planned to write the next topic about how etiquette helps our children. If you have been reading my blog, you will note the last topic was about respect. That is the foundation of manners, and I will discuss the benefits of manners for our children in another post.
However, today I’m sharing a personal experience that I’m sure a lot of you may have experienced. Several years ago I was at a special dinner for my young adult daughter. We were having dinner at a very nice upscale restaurant. What was to be a special evening became an uncomfortable situation for my daughter and for me. Our dinner companions did not put forth their best manners. One thing I always tried to do while my children were growing up was to expose them to different dining situations and cultural events. I wanted them to learn early what behavior was acceptable in different situations. I’m not necessarily talking about taking my children to five star restaurants to experience good dining skills.
The night of the special dinner for my daughter was en enlightening experience. One of the guests was quite loud and demanding of the waitstaff. At one point, he was pointing at another guest in the restaurant making loud uncomplimentary remarks. A side note here - this behavior was not due to adult beverages. People at tables close to us were staring. I was very embarrassed as was my daughter. When the young man kept demanding something from the waitstaff, it created a very tense situation. This was a restaurant that my family frequented often so we were known by the staff and owners. There was very little respect being shown to this waitperson who was giving us very good service.
In my etiquette classes, I teach my students to try different foods and how to handle something that you may not be particularly fond of that is served. That night a scene was caused when I ordered an appetizer that seemed to be distasteful to one of the couples at our table. Actually this couple was older than my daughter. So you would assume that they would know how to act. They didn’t. They proceeded to make all sorts of inappropriate comments about the dish I had ordered and carried it so far that they were almost gagging at the table! At this point, I honestly was mortified that someone that age would behave in this manner. Here again, people at the table behind us were staring as if they could not believe what was happening. The couple at the table behind us were there to have a peaceful dining experience and because of the actions of the people at my table, they were not allowed to do this.
Part of having good etiquette and manners is being gracious. It is not acceptable manners to point out to someone how inappropriate their manners are. You lead and teach by example. If someone asks you what is the correct or polite way to handle a situation, tell them. They have asked you and obviously want to know. If you belittle someone by telling them that their manners are atrocious, you are not displaying good etiquette.
Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
678-889-4814
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula)
